life is beautiful.

sometimes i sit and wonder when it's all going to end...the pain and the aches of living on the edge of a promise, feeling faithless and betrayed that it hasn't yet come to pass.

sometimes i feel like a twig...like i'm just going to snap and break in half because emotionally...i am so very weak.

sometimes i just want to start over, completely new...no friends, no family...no one who knows anything about the cold hearted monster i have been and can be when i fall apart.

but really, truly living life isn't about running away from problems or curling up in a ball feeling sorry for myself. living life is about...living. taking every single opportunity to make someone's day brighter. making the most of the little i might have to give glory to my Saviour.

this is my resolution. no more whining. no more self-pity. no more staring at the ceiling at night wishing i would just dissapear. sure, life is hard and people can be cruel, conceited, and self-serving, but that doesn't mean i have to let that make my life...totally lifeless.

no, i will not do this anymore. i'm going to live and i don't care what people think. i'm here for one reason and i won't let anyone else steal my happy and cause my eyes to dull. because, sweetheart, they've been dull for too long.

man up, get a hold of your emotions and fight for life and happy. 

it's okay to cry, it's okay to be afraid. everyone hurts and everyone goes through tough times at some point in their life, but it's not about the circumstances you get thrown into...it's about what you do with them and fighting for the best to come out.  to bring beauty from ashes. embrace every situation and learn from past mistakes.

because life is beautiful. sometimes it's just hard to see that.